I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize