ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
