I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
