do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You took a bar mat shot.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
