we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize