i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
