Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
