I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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