He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
