Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize