no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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