My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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