And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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