bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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