He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
are you so shy because you have an std?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
