Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
