don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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