The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
