Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
