I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
