I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
