You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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