I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
