i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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