Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We have started to decorate penises.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
