She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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