Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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