It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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