organizing the empties. That sober.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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