youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
