There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
handjob tips. give me some.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
