are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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