ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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