guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
pray to the hookup gods
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
