420 ftw
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
