are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
