weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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