you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
