I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
