Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
