Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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