I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
