I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
