Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize