I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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