Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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