If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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