did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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