You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
