All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize