wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
