Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
