so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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