You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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