Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
