Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
