And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize