High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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