dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
