my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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