i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
